He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
