What did we do last night that was yellow?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
