He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
