I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
