I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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