My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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