The best revenge is premature balding
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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