she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
