I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
