so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize