how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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