hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
