i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
