I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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