He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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