How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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