It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
