there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The struggles of a small town man whore
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