But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
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I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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