some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think i got beer on your cat.
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