Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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