Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
