Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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  (410): my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts" http://tfl.nu/2c0p
  Replies (14) Good night (3730) Bad night (671)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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  (248): Public safety found my id! (248): And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had. http://tfl.nu/apb6
  Replies (15) Good night (5305) Bad night (559)
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  (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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  (914): explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts? http://tfl.nu/duu8
  Replies (15) Good night (3925) Bad night (785)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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  (847): Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers http://tfl.nu/3d71
  Replies (50) Good night (956) Bad night (6227)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message

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  (505): Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message http://tfl.nu/azaf
  Replies (7) Good night (4913) Bad night (955)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.

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  (936): To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex. http://tfl.nu/0t9p
  Replies (24) Good night (5088) Bad night (853)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems

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  (519): she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems http://tfl.nu/ja9t
  Replies (13) Good night (3445) Bad night (745)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight

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  (207): She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight http://tfl.nu/6sqo
  Replies (17) Good night (2972) Bad night (806)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

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  (847): I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor. http://tfl.nu/d172
  Replies (9) Good night (929) Bad night (490)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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  (480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj
  Replies (4) Good night (549) Bad night (1257)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo

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  (248): I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo http://tfl.nu/bfzl
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (453)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

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  (281): I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot. http://tfl.nu/j0eg
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (271)
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  (585): View more from New York

  yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong

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  (585): yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong http://tfl.nu/twjt
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (231)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.

  (716): View more from New York

  The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers

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  (716): Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one. (716): The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers http://tfl.nu/7hy9
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (249)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now

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  (803): It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now http://tfl.nu/rhf3
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (149)

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