YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
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i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.