Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina

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  (631): She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina http://tfl.nu/7w0w
  Replies (50) Good night (1648) Bad night (8100)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?

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  (570): how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge? http://tfl.nu/xxhq
  Replies (8) Good night (4445) Bad night (660)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1358) Bad night (3935)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  he had to chose between the booze and condoms

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  what did he choose?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

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  (857): he had to chose between the booze and condoms (774): what did he choose? (857): the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right? http://tfl.nu/iz27
  Replies (18) Good night (1350) Bad night (5461)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.

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  (330): nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks. http://tfl.nu/s7xn
  Replies (5) Good night (2992) Bad night (1016)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell

  (816): View more from Missouri

  please tell me you are kidding me

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  (913): i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell (816): please tell me you are kidding me http://tfl.nu/zfgp
  Replies (22) Good night (1637) Bad night (4872)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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  (204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr
  Replies (3) Good night (1718) Bad night (888)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (1601)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.

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  (262): just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard. http://tfl.nu/jn37
  Replies (11) Good night (2295) Bad night (552)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.

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  (440): no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er. http://tfl.nu/c5u6
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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  (501): Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again. http://tfl.nu/b8kl
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (319)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

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  (+44): you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket http://tfl.nu/sq21
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.

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  (570): HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES. http://tfl.nu/3qt3
  Replies (7) Good night (620) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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  (630): so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!? http://tfl.nu/j27z
  Replies (2) Good night (333) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that

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  (713): You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that http://tfl.nu/hi6n
  Replies (6) Good night (415) Bad night (832)

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