Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm not a mortal combat character

(410): View more from Maryland

but my vagina is

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(860): I'm not a mortal combat character (410): but my vagina is http://tfl.nu/01am

Replies (16) Good night (1264) Bad night (406)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.

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(703): I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier. http://tfl.nu/rjab

Replies (81) Good night (8153) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.

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(513): I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties. http://tfl.nu/yluk

Replies (7) Good night (3764) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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(217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7

Replies (47) Good night (8742) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

(314): View more from Missouri

you had an obligation.

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(913): So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right? (314): you had an obligation. http://tfl.nu/0hhp

Replies (20) Good night (7881) Bad night (588)
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(949): View more from California

shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...

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(949): shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do... http://tfl.nu/qae9

Replies (22) Good night (1218) Bad night (3801) Order T-Shirt
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(435): View more from Utah

i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

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(435): i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down. http://tfl.nu/j1eb

Replies (16) Good night (1129) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?

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(802): Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok? http://tfl.nu/nera

Replies (19) Good night (4347) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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(360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby

Replies (32) Good night (1654) Bad night (7372) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.

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(970): I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting. http://tfl.nu/e4bo

Replies (11) Good night (792) Bad night (2376) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1793) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.

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(512): You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits. http://tfl.nu/ddql

Replies (6) Good night (1319) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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(706): View more from Georgia

First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.

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(706): First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left. http://tfl.nu/7vi5

Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (171)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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(612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive

Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (156)
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(512): View more from Texas

I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

(1-512): View more from Texas

Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

(512): View more from Texas

It was just one of those nights, man.

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(512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y

Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (504)

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