Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

her nose should be used as a dorsal fin

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(404): her nose should be used as a dorsal fin http://tfl.nu/cjiq

Replies (10) Good night (690) Bad night (3141)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?

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(740): I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/jir7

Replies (73) Good night (1417) Bad night (14652)
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(315): View more from New York

in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."

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(315): in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me." http://tfl.nu/9q0b

Replies (4) Good night (4049) Bad night (777)
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(714): View more from California

He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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(714): He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later. http://tfl.nu/n2z7

Replies (10) Good night (1108) Bad night (3694)
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(815): View more from Illinois

So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.

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(815): So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ln4p

Replies (3) Good night (2026) Bad night (807)
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(972): View more from Texas

Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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(972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv

Replies (6) Good night (2451) Bad night (675)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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(864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz

Replies (6) Good night (1397) Bad night (1663)
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(404): View more from Georgia

The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed

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(404): The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed http://tfl.nu/y06v

Replies (10) Good night (3051) Bad night (908)
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(914): View more from New York

He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

(914): View more from New York

Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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(914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9

Replies (28) Good night (1915) Bad night (1020)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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(703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17

Replies (1) Good night (1441) Bad night (568)
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(330): View more from Ohio

WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"

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(330): WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader" http://tfl.nu/kbtf

Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (443)
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(850): View more from Florida

You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line

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(850): You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line http://tfl.nu/4oya

Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (345)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.

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(508): It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical. http://tfl.nu/soip

Replies (0) Good night (793) Bad night (326)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.

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(860): You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/3rw4

Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (326)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.

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(256): I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula. http://tfl.nu/7slm

Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (620)

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