i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...