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• (407): View more from Florida

  Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

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• (949): View more from California

  I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.

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  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

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• (607): View more from New York

  The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Just skip

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Please. i have SOME standards

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.

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