He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize