Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
