If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
this hospital has no fireball
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
