i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
