I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize