But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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