talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have post one night stand depression
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
