that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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