I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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