I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
