I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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