Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
