I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize