I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
