apparently the secret to your success is patron
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
