So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Randomize
