is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
