also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
