1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
