Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize