how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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