I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She bit a glass in half.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
