Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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