i jhust puked up my retainher.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
