I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
