just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
