that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
