i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
