I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
