He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
