Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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