Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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