If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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