In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
