I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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