You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
