You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
