I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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