I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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