Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just high enough for therapy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
