I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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