Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
