he thought i was a dude.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
