guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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