I think my vagina is haunted
I wish i was in the wii world.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
